It Begins...

It begins today. Wish me luck.

Drow Attack!

First and foremost, the folks who run Endgame Oakland are awesome. I was in there yesterday and mentioned how hard it is to find copies of Keep on the Shadowfell, the adventure I was planning on using to start my middle schoolk D&D game. In response, the Endgame staff gave me a copy of Web of the Spider Queen, one of the latest D&D Encounters packs, complete with maps.

Now, I know that Web of the Spider Queen was a promotional product, made and distributed for free by Wizards of the Coast, but it still takes a special kind of businessperson to think of that, especially when it offers him no direct profit. My hat goes off to Endgame, and you should all give it a visit the next time you're in Oakland.

Moving on to the content of Web of the Spider Queen.

So far, I think this is something I can use. I'm a little concerned about how much of the art focuses on drow booty. I'm more than a little concerned about, you know, the black elves being evil, and you can tell they're evil because they're black. On the other hand, there's a fun plot and an endboss who really chews the scenery, uttering memorable lines like "I'll eat your hearts for the trouble you've caused me!" I can have a lot of fun with that guy, and the kids will enjoy fighting him.

There are two problems that are real stumbling blocks.

The first is relatively minor. There's a random treasure table - I like those, as callbacks to the days when magical items were part of the weird shit that happened to you as an adventurer, rather than an anticipated and controllable part of your progression - but about a third of it is stuff from Mordenkeinen's Magnificent Emporium... which I don't own. I'll pick it up if I can find a used copy - I'll hit Endgame's used section on Thursday - but I won't buy it new. Well, that's disappointing, but I can always fudge it using content from one of the other rulebooks I do own.

The second is just a little bit bigger.

Page 9, end of the first session, the characters get a sending from Elminster. Mother. Fucking Elminster. I have no time for bearded God-damned Mary Sues in my D&D games. I am also not tying myself to the Forgotten Realms. I'm going to have to invent some other suitably super - but not spotlight-stealing, thank you very much - wizard type to replace him. Then I can kill him at a later date and manipulate my players' little emotions.

Sometimes, being a good DM means being a bad person.

Anyway, tomorrow is the first session - wish me luck!

D&D With Middle Schoolers

Not as exciting as certain other "D&D With..." projects, but a lot less likely to create Internet uproar. Also, less likely to win me hundreds of followers, but with lesser risk comes lesser rewards. Also, I don't spend all day hanging out with pornstars.

So, I have decided to start a D&D game for some of the kids I teach. I figure this is as good a place as any to write about how it goes, and heck - we may all learn something from the experience.

Now, I hardly need to note this, given my readership, but I'm going to do it anyway. I think D&D has the potential to teach these - or, in fact, any - kids a lot. We've got social skills (following rules, taking turns, cooperating towards a mutual goal), math, storytelling, reading, writing, and critical thinking. We've got the opportunity for me to build closer relationships with some of my students. We've got a chance for me to teach all this in an environment where I only have to deal with kids who have already bought in to the setting. And we've got a chance to let off steam by killing gribbly critters - a therapeutic practice entirely on its own.

Let's start by talking about the basic premises, assumptions, and foundational choices made by myself and my players.

I know that this is going to be a controversial decision, but I decided to go with 4th Edition D&D. Specifically, I decided to go with Essentials. Why? Three reasons.

Firstly, 4th Edition D&D does an extremely good job of maximizing the fun factor. In my experience, there is always something fun a character to do, no matter what. This is intrinsically true of the fight scenes, but the free-wheeling, lightly detailed fantasy setting makes it easier for a clever DM (yours, truly) to ensure the same for the non-combat scenes as well.

3rd Edition and even 3.5 don't do nearly as good a job of maximizing fun. The attempt at a coherent system - in which things like magic and theurgy are treated as exceptions - creates a situation in which characters are frequently left with nothing to do. Cast all your spells? Bring a sword to a mage fight? Hopefully you brought a book. Sure, it's a consistent and flavorful nod to D&D's Vancian roots, but is it fun? I'm told that Pathfinder fixes some of these problems - of course, I've been told by Pathfinder fans that it's the best thing since sliced kobolds, and will also fix your receding hairline and relationship with your mother-in-law - but I don't already own Pathfinder. And I'm somewhat cynical about those claims, as I'm sure you've inferred.

Secondly, Essentials takes this one step further, and simplifies it as well. By reducing the number of powers the average character needs to juggle, making sure that low-level powers remain relevant throughout the game's progression, and making sure the powers are straightforward and flavorful, Essentials makes D&D much more accessible, and not just to middle schoolers.

Finally, I am a busy man. There is a huge wealth of material available for 4th Edition D&D. I can run my kids through Keep on the Shadowfell, then use the Cairn of the Winter King, then see what the kids are into. Whatever they want to do - take on zombies, fight pirates, explore caves - I can find a module that will let me do it with minimal work on my part.

And isn't that what we all want? To fight zombies with minimal work on my part?

Regarding the kids, I have four of them, with a possible fifth and sixth joining in if they can get their shit together to come in and make characters. I'm going to go ahead and use the kids' first names, but not last names. I'm not actually under any confidentiality agreement, and I really don't think that anyone is going to try - or be particularly enabled - to kidnap a kid because they know is name is "Cameron" and he plays D&D.

Anyway.

My four players are two girls (Jada and Cassandra) and two boys (Ismael and Abdiel). Despite my best efforts, my two girls are both playing sneaky/support characters (thief and warpriest, respectively) and my two boys are playing in-your-face fighter types (knight and slayer, respectively). It took only minimal nudging, but I managed to convince the kids to play a pretty balanced party: so far, we have two melee strikers, one defender, and one leader. If I get another two players, I will nudge them towards the controller and ranged striker roles. I find that the average party really only needs one defender.

That said, the system really is flexible enough that the kids can play whatever they like. Once a party has the basics - one leader, one defender, one striker - everything else is gravy.

Now that characters are made, we will have our first proper session on Thursday, I believe. Possibly not. I may have a meeting. I can't be bothered to check my calendar right now. Either way, I'm excited, and there's more to come soon!

Pullback

Today's story will be replaced by another reflection. Deal with it.

The Abigail and I (and our personal trainer, for what it's worth) have been continuing to think about the weird reactions I get when I tell people that I'm using a diet to lose excess weight and improve my health. However, there's a very specific response that I get from a specific group of people that I'd like to discuss here.

My fellow geeks really don't like my diet.

I've had geeks criticize me for trying to lose weight. I've had the entire idea - not to mention me and my dedication to it - mocked and made light of. I've gotten completely ridiculous advice like "just go to the gym to take care of your health and eat whatever you want," as if there weren't long-term consequences to carrying around seventy extra pounds and filling your arteries with cholesterol. I've had some geeks even try to undermine me, albeit in "joking" ways. I'm pretty blasé about it, but it drives the Abigail crazy.

I think it's interesting that it's my fellow geeks that react this way, and I think there are a couple of reasons why.

Firstly - and most importantly - I think that a lot of my fellow geeks have pretty huge chips on their shoulders. We like to think that unlike those shallow social beings and crude physical creatures - you know, the people who gave us shit in high school - we are creatures of the mind. We are dedicated to the intellectual pursuits that we know will really make a difference in the future. We're engineers, scientists, and artists. We don't worry about our weight. That's for lesser creatures.

I think this is bullshit in a lot of ways. The improved body awareness and self-image that come from getting in shape can improve your life in many ways. Sex is better, food is better, driving is better - hell, walking is better.

Secondly, I think a lot of geeks get upset because they feel like I'm abandoning them. We're all in the same club if we're all too fat, too thin, and out of shape. When I start showing concern for my weight and my eating habits, I think that a lot of my friends feel like I'm abandoning them.

Relatedly, I think that a lot of geeks are about food and exercise the same way that the "mundies" are about alcohol. Have you ever noticed that if you talk to a bunch of people about drinking, what inevitably comes up are stories about the dumb things they've done while drunk? And if someone who doesn't drink - or only ever drinks to moderation, and never gets drunk - speaks up, suddenly all the drinkers get really uncomfortable? Well - I've noticed it.

I think it's because as long as we're all drinkers here, we're all in the club. None of us need to worry about being judged - or even being invited to judge ourselves - because we're all guilty. When, suddenly, someone reveals himself as being not part of the club, the drinkers all freak out. Suddenly they have to deal with judgement, even if it's only their own.

Geeks are the same way about general bodily health. I'm leaving the "let's all pretend that we're happy with our bodies" club, and it stresses people out.

As an aside - before I move on to one final aspect to this little topic - I want to point out that I'm not talking about bizarre body-image fatness, thinness, and healthiness. I'm not talking about wanting exquisitely toned abs or a butt you could use as an anvil. I'm talking about wanting to go from seventy pounds overweight to a healthy B.M.I.. I'm talking about wanting to add an extra five to ten years to my life, and improve my mobility and physical comfort in many more years. And, yes, I am talking about being a little more confident and comfortable in my skin, and with my reflection.

The Abigail has told me about an added wrinkle for geeks who are also girls. She says - and I really need to get her to write a guest post about this - that girls who are friends with boys have to be either for the boys or one of the boys. In other words, they either trade their sexuality for power and acceptance, or they de-girl themselves as much as possible. Unsurprisingly, most geeks girls (no, not all, but most) seem to prefer the latter. The Abigail has told me that when she tells geek girls about her health goals, or her growing interest in makeup, she gets a similar negative reaction.

"Don't do that!" they tell her. "You'll give us all a bad name. People will think that we're like them."

And I have to ask - is that really the best we can do?

One of the things that I always loved about geek culture was its willingness to accept other people on the merits they possessed, rather than demanding obedience and conformity. Of course, that has never really been true. We are a social movement, like any other, and we have our rules, our boundaries, and our qualifications. That said, I thought there was something noble about a group that would take in the broken and outcast, no matter how fat, scrawny, or otherwise unlovely. Are you interested in things nobody else is and disinterested in things everyone else thinks are necessary? Great - you're one of us!

And we know geeks can do it. We've survived the rise of the geek, when geeks have become rich and famous off the power of their enormous brains. Even the other kind of geeks - those of us with interests in super heroes and science fiction and D&D - have our heroes in the likes of Joss Whedon, artists whose works reach wider and wider audiences without compromising their principles (mostly...).

And I like to think that geeks can continue to be open and accepting to those of us who fit the geeky bill, even when we decide to make valid and necessary changes in our lives.

Summative Assessment

Ah, CST time. How I despise you.

Summative Assessment

By Mark L. S. Stone

Mr. Shale strolled through the silent classroom, glancing at each bowed head in turn. The students were remarkably well behaved. He had to admit that this was the easiest proctoring of his career.

Each desk had the same black cube, but that was where the uniformity ended. Some students manipulated fields of color, trying to establish patterns. Others played problem-solving games, directing cartoon figures out of peril. A few simply used the holographic display to answer questions, selecting the best option from a short list.

“Things sure have gotten interesting around here since Non-Standard Testing,” Mr. Shale whispered to himself.

Willpower / Won't Power

Today's story will be replaced by a lengthy rumination, of the kind that originally won me so many followers. Tune in tomorrow for more drabbley goodness. Or maybe the day after.

The Abigail will be mad at me for writing this, but I'm a fat guy.

I'm not blubber-dripping-off-the-bones fat - I carry the weight well, I think - but I've spent my entire adult life, so far, between 60 and 70 pounds overweight. That's enough to fit the medical definition of obesity, though I'm not what you think of when you think of obese. As I wrote, I've got a big frame and I carry the weight well, and most people don't realize that the medical definition of obesity starts at a much lighter weight than the conventional definition. That said, I am at the point where health problems like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and potentially even dementia await me in the future if I don't make a change in my life style.

Or maybe not. That's how health problems roll.

Anyway, I've tried a lot of methods to lose the weight. I tried "feel crappy all the time and just don't think about it." That didn't work at all. I tried "just go to the gym already." That got me feeling a lot better, but didn't do much to help me get rid of the fat (apparently increasing your activity can only do so much if you're still eating poorly). I tried WeightWatchers. That worked for a while, but then they switched to a new method, and I got older, and it stopped working. Then I tried "give up in despair." Predictably, it didn't help.

Now I'm trying the South Beach diet. I'm also going to the gym regularly, where I see a personal trainer - and it's doing great things in all the ways that going to the gym are supposed to - but what I really want to talk about is the diet.

I get really weird reactions whenever I mention my diet. Nine tenths of the people I speak to fall into one of three camps:

1. "Oh, I could never do that - I don't have the willpower!" One guy even quipped "I couldn't ever go on a diet; the best I've ever done is two days without having a beer."
2. "How's that work?" and other expressions of curiosity.
3. "You don't need to diet, just go to the gym more!"

It's the first and second positions that I find most interesting. The third... it's well-intentioned, but just wrong.

Anyway, the thing I've learned is that dieting isn't really not that hard, once you're committed.

• Step One: Decide that you're going to do something.
• Step Two: Figure out what you need to be successful and what obstacles could stand in your way.
• Step Three: Gather all tools, eliminate all obstacles.
• Step Four: Profit.

Having a wife as awesome as the Abigail helps. You can't have mine.

It seems to me that this process applies to everything there is to do in life. I've seen it applied to (and done it myself, in some cases): job searches, job applications, surviving cancer, and becoming a serious writer.

That's not to say that I don't have sympathy for the difficulty in making a lifestyle change. The hard part rests in the sentence before "Step One." First, you have to be committed. You have to want it badly enough. Look at my own history. When I was trying all those methods that didn't work - "don't think about it and feel crappy all the time" and "give up in despair" - I didn't want it bad enough. Oh, I wanted badly, but what I wanted wasn't to lose the weight. I wanted to stop feeling shitty and helpless, I wanted the pain to go away, more than I wanted to solve the actual problem,

And then, there came the point in my life that this changed, and the problem was the problem, not how I felt about it. And that was when I said "let's get a gym membership" or "let's try WeightWatchers" or "someone mentioned the South Beach diet - let's give it a shot!" Becoming committed is the problem, staying committed is the challenge.

But willpower? This thing that everyone says they lack? Willpower is an illusion.

A lot of people seem to define willpower as the ability to continue doing something you don't want to do. But really, aren't we always doing what we want to do? What we chose to do? Even under duress, your choices are your own. Maybe it isn't fair, maybe there are extenuating circumstances that make a terrible choice excusable, but the choice is still yours. If willpower exists, it's more likely the ability to do things you do want to do - to follow through on your choices - despite hardship.

And does dieting really include hardships?

Come on. Watching my wife eat a sandwich is not a hardship. Refraining from stopping at the local steam bun joint for a Chicken Combo Bun (70¢) is not an obstacle. Not if you're really committed. Now, discovering that we're unexpectedly out of vegetables, or that the only protein in the house is deliciously fatty bacon. Those are obstacles. Those are hardships. And to prevent them, you plan ahead of time - something that the Abigail fortunately excels at, because I suck at it.

As I implied above, all of this applies to writing, too. You don't need willpower, unless you're trying to write while jackhammers work outside, or while experiencing explosive diarrhea, or shortly after having a child (I've done two out of three of those...). Whether you're trying to lose weight or gain words, you need commitment, and you need a plan.

Me? I need more peanut butter and celery. Catch you later.

Death Spiral

"Death Spiral" is not the name of a goth metal band, but it should be.

Actually, I was introduced to the term "Death Spiral" by RPGs. In an RPG context, a Death Spiral is a rule that causes a character (or other entity) to become less effective as it approaches death. For characters, this has the effect of heightening tension and increasing drama. As the character becomes increasingly injured, he or she must struggle on despite the pain and handicap of wounds. Death Spirals - although for this to work they usually have to be accompanied by a mechanic for ignoring them at some cost - can often produce some awesome "from hell's heart I stab at thee" moments.

Of course, there are problems with Death Spirals. For one thing, the "circle round and beat the crap out of an increasingly crippled opponent" scene isn't much cooler than it sounds. A few games have done interesting things with inverted or otherwise altered Death Spirals that make opponents different or just plain nastier as they get more hurt, which is counter-intuitive, but usually a lot more fun, in that it produces rising action over the course of a battle, rather than falling action.

In the last few minutes, I've also learned that Death Spiral can also refer to some economics conditions, too.

But I digress. I'm here to talk about the Death Spiral in terms of sleep.

The Stress-Work-Sleep Death Spiral goes like this:

First, I am stressed. This is a general condition of my life. Then, I have work to do (also a general condition of my life). Because I am stressed, I am often doing the work at odd hours of the night. As it gets later, I get more tired, which reduces my efficiency and increases my stress. Which reduces my efficiency. Which causes it to become later. Which increases my weariness. Which reduces my efficiency.

And so on.

This is probably the worst thing about reality. Time, man, it totally blows. I would totally arrange things differently if it were up to me.

I think that recognizing the Stress-Work-Sleep Death Spiral (SWS Death Spiral, or SWSDS, for short) has helped me to avoid it, or at least mitigate it. The problem with totally preventing the SWS Death Spiral is that it acts upon the part of my brain that, well, acts. I may see it coming, but that doesn't mean I can do anything about it because it's the parts of me that manages time, makes decision, and works creatively that are slowed down, skewed sideways, and otherwise fucked up. However, there is something powerful about sitting in front of my computer at 12:45 AM and saying "damn, I know what this is - this is the Death Spiral" that helps. It opens the door to radical solutions, like "fuck it - I'm going to go to bed and set the alarm for 5:30 so I have time to do this before school" (a personal favorite). On a smaller scale, it sometimes helps spur me on to make more intelligent decisions about how to manage my time and reach the inevitable conclusion of the SWS Death Spiral - finishing my work and going, the fuck, to sleep.

NoNoWriMo

I don't really want to dwell on it, but I didn't win NaNo this year. Rat and Starling made it to about 36k, and that's where I died.

Did I say died? I meant came down with the first (and therefore, by definition, worst) sinus infection of my entire pitiful life. I'm still blowing horrifying crap out of my nose once in a while. But I certainly wished I was dead, for a while there.

In the end, despite being very nearly out of commission for a week, I might have been able to finish NaNo. Unfortunately, for the last three days, there has been time to do any three of the following things: go to work, finish my grading - which I didn't get to while I was dying of General NIoD (Nose Infection of Doom) - sleep, and NaNo. Sleep has to happen - whenever I don't sleep the Abigail gets really weird and for some reason and we fight all the time - as does going to work and finishing my grading if I want to stay employed. Something had to give, and what gave was NaNo.

I still didn't get more than three hours of sleep last night. Fucking grading.

Anyway, as I wrote above, I don't want to dwell on the negatives. There's always next year, after all. For now, I will content myself with another year of effort and the fact that there are now thirty-six thousand more words in the world, written by me, that I may someday come back to and make less sucky.

And that, 50k or no 50k, is still an achievement.

Zeppelin Therapy

So, as you know, I have a wife, the Abigail. You may also know that my wife is a drama therapist. What you probably don't know is that the Abigail is involved in planning this year's National Association of Drama Therapists conference.

Awesome, I know.

Anyway, I wrote a guest post on their blog talking about Five Things Drama Therapists Might Not Know About Being Partnered to a Drama Therapist. If you think drama therapy sounds interesting - it's really neat, take it from me - you might find the post interesting.

Till next time.

Only the Tiny Plastic Dead...

Have seen the end of tiny plastic war.

A powerful quote from tiny plastic George Santayana.

At the end of the last school year I finally did it, something I've been tempted to do ever since high school.

I finally started playing wargames; specifically, Warhammer 40k and Warmachine.

I know, I know. I'm a story nerd - a filthy narrativist - who writes novels and plays sensitive, character-focused roleplaying games. What am I doing leading tiny plastic soldiers to their tiny plastic deaths on a not-so-tiny plastic battlefield?

The appeal is threefold.

Firstly, I need more hobbies that help me make friends. I've been quite isolated and lonely ever since I first moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. Don't get all stressed at me, non-wargaming-friends-what-read-this, I know you exist. I just don't have very many of you. I agree that the old saw that writing is a "solitary art" is simply wrong, especially in the era of crit groups, web forums, the Internet, and NaNoWriM. Believe it nor not, some really high quality nerds play wargames, smart guys who like to think tactically and blend compassionate sportsmanship with a competitive edge. Nerds who like to shoot the shit, drink a beer, slaughter their foes, and talk about the newest Star Trek movie.

In other words - more casual friends, exactly what I need.

Secondly, there's a really fantastic secret world of art and creativity associated with these games. Seriously - you have no idea how awesome some of these things are until you've seen them. You'd never guess that some of the most hardened, beardiest nerds are creating tiny plastic masterpieces on their tiny plastic canvases. I'm nowhere near an expert in the art of modifying and painting soldiers, but I'm enjoying the process.

Finally, a lot of wargame worlds are very well-developed, with fascinating visual and thematic bits that I now have the opportunity to steal and transform. I've already had some good ideas that were inspired by the fiction and "fluff" of the games I've started to play.

Anyway, I'm having a good time. If you play 40k or Warmahordes and are in (or visit) the San Francisco Bay Area, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you and meet up to play a game or three.

For You, a Token of My Esteem

With this, I'd like to thank all of you who wrote such wonderful, supportive things on my last post. If only I'd been more able/willing to reach out over the summer, when terrible things were actually happening, as opposed to now, in the winter, when it's all gradually receding into the past.

Nevertheless, it's comforting to read your good wishes. Thank you.

Alas, Poor Audience

So, from the rather... arctic response to my last post, I guess that I have lost whatever audience I once had. I suppose that it's only fair. I did disappear for an entire summer.

So, update time.

Obviously, the summer was not the orgy of writing and blogging that I hoped it would be. I was rather put off my game in the last week, after school ended. You might have read about it in the news - remember how an airplane crashed on the East Coast, killing the pilot, his wife, their teenage daughter, and her friend?

Those were my aunt, uncle, and cousin.

My grandfather - the husband of the woman whose daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter were killed - died a much less remarkable death three weeks later.

Nothing about the catastrophes that befell my family actually prevented me from writing, but it made it a lot easier to retreat into somewhat less complicated pass-times like sleeping, hanging out with the Abigail, and painting tiny plastic spacemen (TPSMs for short). The fact that I ended up flying back and forth between here and the East Coast four times (half of them for funerals), getting a DVT in my leg in the process, didn't help any.

I wish I could report that I eventually rose to the challenge, like one of those guys who wins a Double NaNo despite having twins, losing his job, and being hit by a bicycle messenger carrying a duffel bag full of contraband weasels.

But, nah, I painted TPSMs and slept.

The Abigail tells me that it was ok - that I had the grieving process that I had to have - but I still feel like I dropped the ball. Or, to be somewhat more fair to myself, there was this totally awesome ball that I could have picked up, but instead I let it lie there. Is that ok? Sure. But it's not exceptional, and exceptional is what I want to be.

What am I working on right now?

Despite the creatively lame summer, I did manage to produce several short story ideas that I am currently attempting to realize in a rather slow and lazy way. I am also gearing up for National Novel Writing Month; I've picked my novel and am currently gathering my notes and preparing for war. I have decided to take advantage of the somewhat less formal NaNoEdMo to complete one of this summer's neglected projects: getting Knights of the Land fully re-written and ready to shop around with agents.

As for this blog, well, I plant to pick up where I left off. The blogging will commence anew, with new and better posts, more frequent and more interesting links, and cooler creative prompts! The universe is the limit at the new and improved (read: same thing, just more enthusiastic) Burning Zeppelin Experience!

*Cue fireworks; a teenage demon appears, prods me with her pitchfork and says "back to grading you heinous slacker!"*

No More Teachers!

In honor of today being the last day of school, have a creative prompt. Tell me the story of a character with an imaginary and unlikely academic specialty - an ethnomycologist or a cryptomusicologist or something. Bonus points for convincing me that the specialty is actually real.

I Yet Live

It's been a while and I want to throw up a post to let you all know that I - and the Burning Zeppelin Experience, and the Abigail, and Jabberwock the lizard - am still alive. The school year is ending - my last day is Friday - and as a result I'm exhausted, burned out, and singularly uncreative. Thank the Gods of Chaos for my new Warhammer 40k hobby; if I wasn't painting minis right now, I'd probably have become completely uncreative. If last year's pattern repeats itself, I will be back to my writing, posting, novel-editing, rejection-letter-collecting, the Abigail-referencing self in the second week after the school year ends.

Until then, have some links:

• Don't worry, the CDC is prepared for a zombie apocalypse.
• Tanith Lee does it again over at Fantasy Magazine.
• Ever wanted to know how dinosaurs have sex? Now you do.

Enjoy.

Resurrection!

My Donors Choose page is live. It lives!

Our turtles are awaiting your largesse.

Until next time, the Burning Zeppelin is wondering if anyone else thinks that "largesse" sounds like it should mean a female large.

Afterlife

So, yesterday I posted asking for dollars to help fund my class turtles.

It turns out that the project hasn't gone live yet. Apparently it takes a day or two for my project to get past the review process.

I'll throw up another post when the project does go live. Many apologies.